Assaulting the Language

I understand poetic license (as has often been said, "I gotta get me one o' them) and I know that liberties with the language are taken in the realm of retail marketing. Sometimes, though, I just wonder why things are presented the way they are. Take for instance this sign on display near a make-up counter at a regional department store: Why not, indeed? It sounds like a fine question. Ah, yes...a question. Why not use a question mark at the end of it?
It's nice that jewelry repairs are provided by this national chain, if it is a proposition upon which an argument is based or from which a conclusion is drawn.However, if they intend to make the repairs right there in the store, don't they mean on the premises? That's a question, by the way.
I'm also a little offended by this sign on the door of a Southwest Grill: I realize they're trying to be positive, asking customers to do something instead of telling them what not do to. Still, it seems to me they are encouraging a negative activity and I don't like that.
All of these signs were made by big-time, or at least regional, marketers. I'm sure the premise of each of these messages can be defended.
The granddaddy of them all was a hand-made sign placed on the door of a local pizza place during last week's city-wide water crisis:Ain't no way to beat this sign. I'll drank to that.
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Daddy D goes interactive:
Veteran broadcaster Patrick Netherton,traveling with the Northwestern State Demons, offers this:
"I took this picture outside the pool at a hotel in Arlington on a road trip with the Lady Demons... I guess they are apologizing for the pool being nearby? They also had a sign that said. 'The Pool is close…' as if it were a warning."

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