I have a lot of experience recently giving and receiving alarming news. There are different styles of delivering disappointing information. Some people just lay it out there, “BOOM! Here it is….” When my father-in-law died, I gave people one piece of information at a time. He got sick, he was taken to the hospital, he got progressively worse quickly, and he passed away. I would give people thirty seconds to a minute to get to that place. My mother-in-law just hit ‘em with it, “I’m calling to let you know that Ken has died…” just like that. It takes your breath away.
More recently, I was with another relative who got some unexpected health news. The doctor didn’t lead anybody down any path. He just hit us over the head with the boulder. It went something like this: “Do you smoke?” No. “Did you ever smoke?” Yes. “When did you stop?” 1982. “Well, this CT scan shows a very suspicious spot on your left lung.”
Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeech! Hold, on there. We’re here because of nausea and diarrhea.
All of this is part of the “big pinch” we’ve recently discussed. In the last month, we’ve had an unexpected death, an unexpected nodule on a lung and (Oh, by the way) an immediate family member with a skin cancer diagnosis which will require surgery.
So, let’s see. In the next two weeks, I get to accompany one immediate family member to a PET scan appointment to determine if surgery will be required to remove a suspicious nodule. Three days later, another immediate family member has to have a plastic surgeon carve on her face to remove a malignant lesion. This will require a skin graft. The following weekend, we’re closing up my in-laws house in Texas because the desire or need for it no longer exists.
We’ve made a final college decision for our high school senior, so that’s behind us. Now, we’re paying enrollment fees and housing deposits.
Things are a little stressful.
I talked about all of this (and more, actually) with a buddy at some length. He said I need to stay in “hang on” mode for a while. I just need to hang on until this shit storm passes.
I gotta get a bigger umbrella. Until then, if anything else happens, tell it to me gently.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
No Wonder I'm Tired all the Time
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1 comment:
Darrell,
The stress can be overwhelming at times, can't it? Since the night you had to take your dad to the ER, I have been there with my Significant Other 5 times as well as gone with him to his primary care doc. Now he has been referred to a spinal surgeon so may end up with neck surgery. Each visit is filled with worry, not to mention the time it takes. I also have a brother battling brain cancer and lost my mother this past August.
All I can suggest is to get as much rest as you can, relax in front of the TV with an adult beverage and a baseball game and if all else fails, see your doc for some xanax or prozac!
Like I said before, as long as we love and are loved by others, we'll go through these times but it's all part of life. It beats being "the rock" in the old Simon and Garfunkel song.
Hang in there...
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