Who Needs a Vasectomy?

Middle-aged men will occasionally discuss their vasectomies. I have one friend who recalls with great discomfort the moment he saw a puff of smoke rising from between his legs. I know another who talked on his cell phone during the entire procedure, preferring to concentrate on work rather than what was going on down there. I don't know if he disclosed his location or his activity while he was "working," but that's a detail I can live without.

I remember feeling quite conspicuous when the urolgist was done, because he and his people left me undraped, exposed to the room. It's a lonely feeling when you ban your boys from the house.

I suspect no one can imagine the pain and embarrassment felt by Spanish matador Fernando Cruz. According to the Reuters news agency, Cruz, who is just twenty-five years old, is recovering in a hospital following his most recent forway into matadordom. I think the bull won, because Cruz was gored in the upper thigh, thrown into the air, and gored again after he hit the ground, this time in the groin.

All of this was caught by TV cameras (see the video here) and has been played on the national news in Spain. I'm sure it will show up on YouTube in no time. The King's horses and the King's men, with the help of some actual surgeons, put Cruz back together again.

Here, for your enjoyment, is a passage from the doctors' news release, translated into English for your reading comfort: "Fernando Cruz is suffering from two horn wounds of 25 centimeters in length each. One involves the fibers of the abductor muscle and dissects the femoral artery, the other involves the scrotal area and eviscerates both testicles."
Do I have to translate "scrotal area" for you? Go ahead, if you dare and look up "eviscerates," but do so at your own peril. Then, think about what was eviscerated.Think Cruz will "man up?" He's expected to be back in the bull ring in about three weeks.

Watch out for that puff of smoke.

Sphere: Related Content