The Adventures of Detective Dave

I'm not sure why Detective Dave of the Chicago PD has taken such an interest in my little case of unauthorized credit card use, but I have a theory. During our first conversation, he was politely taking basic information from me. He read back the spelling of my name and missed the mark a little. "R-E-D....." I said, "Wait. Stop."
I continued, "That's R-E-B. If it's R-E-D, that would make my name 'Redouche,' which would set me up for ridiculous ridicule."
He laughed a good long time and I think it was the start of a beautiful friendship.
As he pursues his investigation of the alleged crimes of Kareen Couch, Kamala Couch, Frank Taylor and Tomekia Scott, Detective Dave has called security for American Airlines, Shreveport Police, Caddo Parish Sheriff's Office and who knows what other agencies.
We talked on the phone at least three times today and exchanged several e-mails. At one point he called me and asked, "This is important. If we track down these perps would you be willing to come to Chicago to tesitify against them?"
I said, "Yes, I will. I will happily spend more money than they stole from me to come to Chicago. I want to look them in the eye and say 'This is the person you stole from. I am not some random number on the internet or a credit card receipt. You stole from me and my family and now you will pay for that'"
He said, "Great. That's the first question the district attorney will ask me and I'm glad you are emphatic about it."
I said, " I'll go to a Cubs or a Bears or a Bulls game. I want to stand up with the Chief of Detectives in a news conference announcing that I was the catalyst to breaking up this internet crime ring. I want to do a live shot on WMAQ."
Okay, I admit I got a little carried away. I will happily go to Chicago, though. I mean that sincerely. I have enough vacation time and certainly enough motivation.
I want to meet Tomekia Scott, Frank Taylor, Kamala Couch and Kareen Couch. I want them to admit to their thievery and apologize. If they don't I want them to go to jail and I want to personally slam the door behind them.

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