Reluctant Unclehood

There's a new member of the family named Grant. I'll spare the details because I don't really have permission to go all up in somebody else's privacy, but let me make one thing clear: We are not yet grandparents. The fact that we have the potential to be so in less than a year hangs over our heads at all times, but I can honestly say we're have not been emotionally prepared for the arrival of a newborn. Yet, here he is, a nephew. The guy has a 16-year-old sister. It saddens me at this moment that her name is not "Denise," because I have no legitimate reason to call the new kid "DeNephew," a joke which always cracks me up even though it's stupid and ancient.
Let me make another thing clear: nobody around here is pregnant, as far as I know. I'm just saying that things can happen quickly. I'm looking forward to being a grandfather, I just don't want it to happen anytime in the next five years or so.
For now, Grant's arrival is the most momentous thing to happen in the family in a while. Let's hope things settle down around here now. I've spoken to his mother only briefly since she came home with the baby, because I assume she's losing sleep. I will be interested, in a month or so, to depose "Denise" about how she's dealing with all of this.
For now, let's just say congratulations to the excited family. Welcome to the world, Grant.

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