All the News That's Fit to Steal

Our dog, who presently has exclusive canine rights to the family home, is really a pleasure to be around. She plays catch with the best of them, is 100% house trained, has an easy-going, loving disposition and generally does as she's told. She loves water and so she spends a lot of time in a backyard kiddie pool and in the creek behind our country shack.
She gets the newspaper for me every morning, which is a nice trick and quite convenient. Except for newspaper duty, she has never been allowed outside of the back yard without a leash.
Until today.
I came home from work, and she came strolling around the front of the house. This was troubling, because I know no one has been home all day and I personally put her out this morning. I found a gate to our back yard open, which explains why she was in the front yard, but doesn't tell us how long. The only plausible theory I have is that some irresponsible meter reader came around and didn't close the gate. Our dog cold have been stolen or run over or lost and we never would have known what happened, and that would have been terrible. Everything's okay, so no harm done. Except for one thing.
In our back yard was a collection of newspapers, still in the plastic wrappers. I guess our dog, free and easy for the first time in her young life, used her unanticipated emacipation to do what she does best in the front yard. She got the paper. Over and over again.
I guess I'll go door to door offering restitution. "No news is good news" does not apply on my street today.

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