Sunday, May 03, 2009

It's Not Avian Flu, Is It?

We got to spend some quality time with The Happy Couple, which pleases us. When she's not grinding college classes or bonding with sorority sisters, our son's longtime love interest works fulltime at a specialty store.
She told us about the topic of a meeting called by her manager. It seems the boss wanted to discuss precautions made necessary by the spread of the "swan flu." At first, the staff thought they had misunderstood her. After all, this is the deep south where vowel sounds can often become ambiguous. But, she said it time and again, "Swan flu."
Apparently when people started snickering, she asked what was so funny. She was asked, "Are you saying 'swan flu?'" She said, "Yes. Isn't that what it is?"
I can't begin to tell you how simultaneously amusing and alarming this is. You know what this means, right? The manager was calling a big meeting to dispense wisdom, but her malapropism makes it abundantly obvious that she had not read a single word about the Swine Flu. She was just making up some crap based on something she heard.
I don't know whether to laugh or call the CDC.
I hope nothing catches on fire in the store. The workers might have to use a distinguisher. The good news is, the manager is a stickler for getting to work on time, so the staff uses good punctuation. I hope these little zingers aren't beyond your apprehension.
Still, just to be safe, stay away from swans until further notice.

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