My duties as a lay eucharistic minister took a painful turn this morning. The woman standing to my right in this photo just laughed and laughed.
During a baptism, I was sitting near the altar, dressed just as I am in the photo. I was simply biding my time waiting for communion to start. Gradually, the effects of Saturday night's red beans and rice began to create uncomfortable pressure. This is never good, but it's especially disconcerting in such an austere and reverent environment.
Knowing the baptism would take a while, I decided to quietly sneak off to the men's room to deal with my gastrobiological issues.
I'm not sure what happened, except that my feet slipped out from under me. I bounced off the arm of one of those Big Wood Chairs and landed SPLAT on the slate floor.
It looked like I was being ordained.
Did I say I was planning to quietly sneak off? That didn't work out. I landed with such force on the chair that the sound was thunderous.
Fortunately, all of the clergy were involved in the baptism and the eyes of the congregation were focused there. I fell behind the organ, so the only person who actually saw what happened was my snickering buddy Judy.
Everybody heard the boom, though. The acolytes and eucharistic ministers across the room saw me flat on my face, so this won't go away anytime soon. I stayed away from the altar until communion started. When people asked if I was okay, I said, "Yeah. I just had to go to the choir lounge to cry a little before I came back."
God got me for something. God only knows what it all means. Pray for me.
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Sunday, October 12, 2008
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