Artie & Cromartie Won't Be Tardy

I received an e-mail, the context of which is not important. I'll just say that some people with whom I am associated have been guilty of not performing an important and required task in a timely fasion. So, this e-mail was a warning about the importance of punctuality and accountability. Just to let us know that the powers that be are serious, we were warned that future indiscretions will be dealt with thusly:

"...a $100 fine will be distributed to the tardy party."

I know this is serious and legitimate. I'm happy to say that, as far as I know, I have not been in violation.
I just can't help myself. My favorite part of this warning letter is the reference to the "tardy party."
Maybe the violaters are inclined to "party hearty," which leads to being a "tardy party," who knows?
Maybe somewhere former major leaguer Warren Cromartie is in charge of this project, so that he can be Warren Cromartie who's a tardy party because of his tendency to party hearty.
Maybe he's a hardy soul, so he can be Warren Cromartie, who's hardy, which is why he can party hearty, which leads to being a tardy party.
On the Sopranos, Artie will never be tardy for Tony's party because his appetite is so hearty.
When I got the warning letter, I responded with an e-mail similar in tone to this. I guess the guy who warned us thinks I'm some kind of smarty, but really I'm left brained and have a tendency to be arty.
If we're ever on Broadway, we can celebrate with a party thrown by Mr. Sardi.
Unless, of course, we don't make it on time for our reservation. Then, we really would be a tardy party in an area that's really arty poulated by people who laugh loud and hardy.

In response to the comment posted here, I have to say that I am sick, SICK that I did not think of that myself.
It's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You can't please everyone, but you've got to please yourself.

Also, for the record, I heard back from the person who threatened the fine. He wrote:


Yeah, I was proud of that little wordplay I used. Glad somebody commented about it. You really went above and beyond with that addition though - very smarty.

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